I’ve been trying to motivate myself to work for
the past two hours now. Suddenly it seems much more interesting to
finish decorating my room (I’ll try to get some decent photos by
tomorrow… it’s starting to look very nice even though I never would have
thought I liked a room with so much orange and purple in it) and
listening to my childhood favorite shows’ themes on YouTube… I still
know words to Tao Tao, Around the World in Eighty Days and Alfred J Kwak, just to mention a few :D
I really do like my second job (much more than the one I do during
daytime, to be honest). I just need to relax every now and then too. I
feel like I’ve been working non-stop since arriving here. I had a bit of
a meltdown this weekend, mostly because I was so tired…
I think I need to tell you a few things about where I live first, so
that you understand. Grenoble is probably the most dangerous city in
France with several different mafia groups and a pretty important
population of immigrants. And I happen to live right next to one of the
worst ghettos of this city. It’s usually ok, but I don’t feel very safe
about going jogging all by myself or coming home with the tram late at
night (after sunset). But so far I’ve felt safe enough to walk to work,
through a park that lies in the middle of the notorious cité.
Thursday, though, I walked in the park on my way home around 5.30pm
and passed some adolescents who were fooling around. They started
throwing things at me but I ignored them and then one of them took a
rock, about the size of a large strawberry, and threw it right into my
head. It hurt pretty bad. Before I even realized, I was yelling at them
the loudest I could, I just sort of exploded and I’m not even sure what
it was that I told them but it was in Finnish anyway. Such a primitive
reaction… They ran away laughing and I continued walking shaking with
rage. And then I started to hyperventilate. I thought about everything
that could have happened, if the rock hit my face for example. You just don’t do that to people.
I called Maxime crying and barely breathing and luckily he managed to
calm me down. He’s so good at these moments, all calm and reassuring…
So that was it. Apparently it happens all the time, the young people in the cité don’t have anything to do so they do tout et n’importe quoi…
I’ve stopped going to the park in the evening, though. It makes me mad
that I can’t walk or run there without needing to be afraid but I still
prefer to avoid the place. If only for my mum whom I haven’t even told
because she wouldn’t sleep for at least a week if she knew about this.
This weekend I felt I really needed time to just relax. Maxime had
made some research and planned a dozen things for us to do - and all I
wanted do was to sleep… He was really cool about it though. We went for a
very nice drive in the countryside Saturday evening. The weather was
perfect, very hot and sunny and I felt so happy! I find sitting in a car
funnily calming and relaxing so it really was a perfect way to spend a
melting hot afternoon. And then I slept. For ten good hours during the
night and some more Sunday afternoon. Perrrrfect. With some very
delicious Italian ice cream on top :)
Now I think I’m off to bed… I’ll work hard tomorrow then!
Sweet dreams everyone.
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